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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200698">(i paid no attention) To What Mattered Most</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkangel4066/pseuds/Darkangel4066'>Darkangel4066</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, He also needs to pay more attention, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, Rey Needs A Hug, Song:What Mattered most, Songfic, drabble?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 14:55:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkangel4066/pseuds/Darkangel4066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A songfic drabble where Ben and Rey need to learn how to communicate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(i paid no attention) To What Mattered Most</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This short songfic was inspired by the song <i>What Mattered Most</i>  by Ty Herndon.<br/><a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/09nWHcNuohUS7HMPdIDwrr?si=W2A6Tr5YR5mijFBZgp8X6A&lt;/a">

Sorry for the sad vibes.</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <i>I thought I knew,<br/>The girl so well.<br/>If she was sad,<br/>I couldn’t tell. </i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>Ben glanced at Rey as she plastered a smile across her face. Something was off, but he shrugged it off and kissed her cheek before leaving for work. <br/>Later, he thought he remembered that her smile hadn’t reached her eyes. </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <i>I missed the point,<br/>I missed the signs.<br/>So, if she’s gone, <br/>The fault is mine</i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>When Ben returned from work, she was gone. <i>She must have gone to the store.</i> He started dinner and did not notice the note on the counter beside the phone. He hummed as he worked, pleased with his attempt to surprise her. </p>
<p>Dinner was almost finished, when a thought occurred to him: <i>She’s been gone an awful long time.</i> That’s when he saw the little piece of paper he’d missed. He reached it in three long strides and his blood ran cold as he began to read. </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <i>The way she laughed.</i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Ben, </i>
</p>
<p><i>You know I love you, but I had to go…</i> </p>
<p>He scanned the page over and over again, his heart breaking.</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <i>The way she loved.</i>
  </b>
</p>
<p>She’d left. Gone to her father’s house. He practically ran to the bedroom. Every remnant of her was gone. Her clothes, her books, her toothbrush. </p>
<p><b><i>Oh my god, What did I do?</i></b> </p>
<p><i>What did I miss?</i> He thought frantically. <i>Only everything…</i> He realized. <br/>He knew all the little things about her: where she was born, her books, her car, the color of her  eyes, but he realized he had ignored her hopes and dreams. He’d never asked what she wanted and had just assumed she was happy. He turned his head when she cried to give her privacy, he’d told himself, but it was really because he hadn’t wanted to see. <br/>He leaned his head against the cool wall of their bedroom. He’d missed the forest for the trees. </p>
<p><i>This has to be fixable,</i> he thought desperately. Surely his marriage couldn’t end this way? It felt like half his soul was missing - torn from him. <i>God, I’m such an idiot!</i> </p>
<p>Ben hurried to the living room and grabbed his keys. He had to do something, anything to get Rey back. He just kept repeating <i>I’ll fix this</i> and <i>everything is going to be ok.</i> He’d been blind, but he could see now. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.<i>Please let it not be too late.</i></p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>An hour later, Ben arrived at his father-in-law’s large white farmhouse. He got out of his pick-up slowly, not knowing how well he would be received and thinking frantically about what to say to his wife. His mind racing, he approached the door.<p>Rey’s father met him and gave him a sympathetic look. </p>
<p>“She’s here?” Ben questioned. He already knew the answer. </p>
<p>Mr Johnson smiled sadly and said “She’s out back. Come on in son.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry..” Ben began.</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize to me. It’s Rey that needs to hear it. Do you see her now son?”</p>
<p>“I do.” Ben said. </p>
<p>“Then head out and tell her so.” He laid a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Sometimes we have to come close to losing something to really appreciate it. I’m sorry it happened this way for you two.” He eyed Ben, “ You should maybe try talking a bit more.”  </p>
<p>Ben nodded and headed toward the back door and Rey. </p>
<p>“Good luck son.” Mr. Johnson said.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>*</p>
</div>Ben paused to watch his wife through the screen door. Rey hadn’t noticed him yet. She was sitting on the giant tire swing hanging from the huge old tree in the backyard, she’d played on as a child. Looking at her now, he could see how sad she was - in her posture and in her eyes. She was crying and for once, he refused to turn away. <i>How did I miss this?</i> Ben thought sadly.<p>He opened the door and Rey looked up, her face tearstained. Ben tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He approached her cautiously, not knowing how she would react to his presence. Rey looked at her feet, refusing to meet his gaze.</p>
<p>He didn’t know what to say, so he said the first thing that came to mind. “I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I missed a lot. I didn’t ask you what you wanted, what your dreams were, or how anything has changed for you in all the eight years since we were married. I missed the point and I’m sorry. I can do better, listen more.” He was pleading now.</p>
<p> “Please forgive me - I was blind.” He reached his hand out to her hoping against hope that she would forgive him and take it. “Please.” He said, begging. His eyes stung with unshed tears. </p>
<p>Rey looked at him now. Her breath hitched in her chest and she lifted her hand toward his. Hesitating, she said, “It’s partly my fault too.” </p>
<p>He stilled at her admission. </p>
<p>“I never said -never told you how I felt or what I wanted. I just felt so alone after a while and you seemed,” she paused. “Happy.”  </p>
<p>“You’re not alone.” Ben said quietly. </p>
<p>“Neither are you.” said Rey, taking his hand.  </p>
<p>Ben pulled Rey up off the swing and into his arms, kissing her gently. He hadn’t paid attention before, but he would from now on. He would pay attention to what matters most.</p>
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